One of the most important decisions of our life is who we marry. In Genesis 24 we see several principles in the relationship of Isaac and Rebekah that Christians can apply today.
Here are five principles to consider:
- Parents/Counselors – Listen to Them
- Prayer – seek God’s direction
- Parameters – establish guidelines for who you would consider as a spouse.
- Proceed Slowly – seriously, take things slowly
- Prioritize the Spiritual
1. Parents
Take counsel from Godly parents and counselors.
Parents/counselors can often be more objective than you.
Parents/counselors may not always be right, but take their advice seriously.
They can often see things you cannot.
Parents cannot choose a spouse for their child, but it is important that you give counsel and are
involved.
One of the best things parents can do is set a good example for what their children should look in
a potential spouse. A husband should set the example for the type of man his daughter should
look for. A wife should model the type of women a son should look for.
2. Prayer
Pray much when seeking a spouse. This is not about setting down tests as the servant did but seeking God’s mind.
We have God’s Word and the indwelling of the Spirit to guide us– the servant did not.
3. Parameters
Set out Biblical criteria for what you’re looking for in a potential spouse. Look beyond the external and search for true character.
Abraham’s servant was not just looking for a worker, but for a true partner for Isaac. Abraham worked hard and no doubt trained his sons to do the same. The servant was looking for someone who would be a true help-meet for Isaac, not someone to idly sit while Isaac labored.
Rebekah’s offer to give water to the camels revealed (1) a willingness to work, (2) compassion, and (3) initiative.
Don’t rely on falling in love. Determine what the Bible says are the qualities of a suitable spouse. If they don’t meet the criteria, then do not even consider them. Guard your heart from “falling” for someone.
You don’t need to go through a series of heartbreaks and mistakes before you find the right person for you.
In many ancient cultures marriage was often motivated by finance and status. Abraham had a higher standard and a more enduring goal. The criteria upon which Abraham was focused was character and faith.
Believers are not to marry unbelievers – Abraham did not want his son marrying someone who did not follow Jehovah. Don’t only look for a Christian, but a mature and growing Christian.
Lastly, stay away from the wrong places. You’re unlikely to find the right spouse in the wrong place. Where you go should a part of the parameters you set for who you will consider as a husband or wife.
4. Proceed Slowly
Take your time. There is no need to rush. Observe the person you’re interested in under different conditions.
- How do they handle stress and conflict?
- Are they reliable and responsible?
- How do they treat those who can do nothing for them?
- How do they treat their family and friends?
Isaac would have been about 40 when he married Rebekah. Even taking into account a slightly
longer lifespan that most, that’s still a long time to wait. Beyond the 40 years, he probably had to wait 4 months for the servant to leave and return. But, the wait was worth it.
5. Prioritize the Spiritual
Does the person you’re interested in share your spiritual values? Not only are they saved, but are they a mature Christian?
As the servant explained his mission, God played a central role. He was a spiritual man looking for a spiritual woman for Isaac. At the end of his account of his mission, Abraham’s servant posed the question asked if Rebekah would deal kindly and truly with his master? Will you love him and be faithful to him?
Laban, her father, answered, for his part, “The thing proceedeth from the LORD: we cannot speak
unto thee bad or good.” By referring to the LORD, Jehovah, he revealed at least some knowledge or recognition of the same God Abraham worshipped.
The primary motivation for Abraham and his servant was not to find a pretty girl with a wealth family, but a young lady of good character and who had faith in God.
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